I hate your face
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
