Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I can't trust your balls anymore.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
