Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
