You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Randomize
