You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
