I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
