Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
