OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize