You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
