This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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