I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
