I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He kissed a someone with a penis
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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