areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
