just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
