I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
