i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You ruined the universe
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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