genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Dear god my vagina.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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