I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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