..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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