I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
