Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
