u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
