how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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