Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
