Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
