nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
