no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
