He asked to "fluff my boner.."
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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