Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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