how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
