Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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