i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
