It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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