we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
