He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
