Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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