Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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