16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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