I feel great
I just peed on a car
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
