im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
