I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
