Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
