fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
