Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
