i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
