garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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