Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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