Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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