I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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