Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
