I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
