I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
