I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
