Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
