Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
