You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
