he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize