I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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