I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize