This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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