Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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