i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
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