Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize